Snow Angel Attacks Teen

Fifteen-year-old Jarred Crew was injured in Barre, VT when a snow angel, or at least the snow delineating its form, violently held him to the ground for twenty minutes.

Crew and two friends, Julia Peters and Mary Walsh, were walking together through a neighborhood park at 8PM Saturday night when they came upon a man-sized snow angel with no surrounding footprints. The angel was missing a wing and, at the urging of his friends, Crew reclined in the form and spread his arms to finish the design.

The snowy outline contracted around his body, compressing his legs and torso and immobilizing his head.

“We though he was fucking around,” Julia Peters said, “until he started freaking out, telling us to pull him up and yelling that it hurt.”

Peters and Walsh were unable to pry him out of the angel’s grip. Nearby snow filled the space around Crew’s arms and then, according to Walsh, “the wings lifted off the ground and like squeezed down around him”.

Crew began to scream—he suffered three cracked ribs and significant abdominal contusions—and Walsh ran for help. Peters said, “This halo of snow covered his face and he couldn’t talk or breathe. I had to take my mittens off and claw it away with my fingernails.”

Crew sustained scratches, including one to his cornea, from Peters’ effort to help. By the time Walsh returned with her father and older brother, Crew had escaped and walked with Peters’ assistance to a nearby road. He was treated at the E.R. and released later that night.

No one investigated the scene of the incident until the following morning, by which time the snow angel had vanished under blowing snow. Authorities are said to doubt the veracity of the teens’ account.

Author note: Given this event’s proximity to Montpelier, VT, I can’t help but wonder if Harold Jens, still missing after his apparent dissolution in fog, somehow entered the local water cycle and was clinging to Crew in an effort to regain his original corporeal form. Either way, I’m en route to VT to investigate further.

— Report filed by Hank Ridley