Reanimated Squirrel

A six-year-old boy, neglected by his mother, walked out the side door of his farmhouse and tried to resurrect a squirrel he’d seen crushed by a Subaru on Rural Rte. 21 in _________. (I’m withholding the boy’s name and location because he’s a minor.)

The squirrel had darted directly under the car’s front right tire, as if nature itself had forced its suicide. It flailed for a while, its upper half attempting to crawl away from its pancaked lower half.

The boy had the foresight to put on his father’s leather work gloves before he left the house, entered the road, and attempted to reshape the squirrel into its whole, living self.

The boy was too focused on the squirrel to notice a Ford Fiesta approaching from the north. According to a witness—a neighbor named Linda Ray—the Fiesta driver “smelled like my ex from ten feet away”. By which she meant he smelled powerfully of beer.

The driver, perhaps aware of his intoxication and driving with exaggerated care, saw the boy and gently braked. He turned on his emergency lights, left the car, and encouraged the boy out of the road.

Linda Ray appeared from her house on the opposite side of the road. She had seen the boy enter the road but had been slow in coming to help due to “bad hips”. She spoke briefly to the drunk Fiesta driver before leading the boy home to his mother. The driver left the scene.

According to Ray, the reconstituted squirrel bounded off, good as new and leaving behind only a trace of blood and fur. The boy’s mother was furious her son had left the house. She has declined to speak with me about the incident.

Naturally one would assume the squirrel hadn’t actually been injured, but Linda Ray referred me to several other locals with similar stories about the boy. A cat. A corn snake. A skunk. The boy has a growing reputation for reanimating dead animals. I spoke with the town pastor, who knew the stories well and seemed both awed and fearful of the child’s ability.

I hope to question the boy directly but expect his mother to put up serious resistance.

— report filed by Hank Ridley

Published by

Dennis Mahoney

Secretary of the Equinox Society.